Curdled Milk

Have you ever seen what happens to milk that gets steamed when it’s on the “edge” of freshness?  If you aren't a barista, you probably haven’t.  Quite frankly, even if you are a barista, I hope you don’t.  It’s ugly.  Really ugly.  Almost as ugly as a fourteen year old girl hearing an adult at church telling their friend that her family doesn't belong at that church and they wish the family would just leave. 

That isn't the only ugly thing which has ever been heard from a person attending church.  I realize that.  This one was just personal to me, and it “curdled my milk”, so to speak.  Hot chocolate, or a latte, made with milk which curdles in the steaming process ends up with ugly lumps of a strange, sickly grey shade floating on the surface.  The ugly words my daughter overheard one morning churned up similar sickly emotions to the surface of my church attendance for several weeks.  My first choice in dealing with those emotions is one I’m not proud of; I told several people I trusted to sympathize, and to be outraged on our behalf regardless of how it might affect their “milk”.  Some of us have been lucky enough to have literal curdled milk “shared”, too, right?  And we always wonder why that person needed to have us see and smell that mess.  And just to be completely clear, adding steam heat only makes the smell and sight worse…

The fact of the matter is, that woman is right.  God has been preparing us to not belong in Muncie, Indiana for quite some time.  We can’t belong in Indiana and be happy in the south of France at the same time.  And when we go there, we won’t truly belong, either.  We have personal beliefs which conflict with both Postmodernism and Islam, the two major worldviews held by citizens of Toulouse.  We all expect that the heat of living as believers in a fallen world will only be turned up to steaming in that place.  I can only pray that it won’t curdle the milk of human kindness there because I’ve lived with it here.  So help me, God.

Today's Cup

In my second job, I have a lot of mental free time; stocking grocery shelves is a pretty solitary, automatic process.  In the past two weeks, random French words and phrases have been popping into my head while I work.  The words themselves are random.  The reason why they pop is less so:  after 18 months of prayer and waiting, we have a plan for reaching the south of France towards the end of 2015.  Let me be completely honest here – we are all completely thrilled to have this opportunity to manage a coffee & tea shop.  In the south of France.  For 2 years.  Which induces a lot of panic.  Because of the three of us going, only I have had any experience with the French language.  Two adult children and an eighth grader ago (you do the math, I’m not telling)!  Allez!  Lundi, mardi, mercredi!  Je m’apelle Amy!  I have even tried to express myself in complete (toddler) sentences: Je suis fatigue (I am tired).  One word in particular has resonated in my head:  aujord’hui .  Today. 

I’m not very good at “today”.  I plan.  I project.  I research, organize, prepare, dream, look at tomorrow, think about next month, wonder what life will be like when I’m 16…25…40…65.  When I was in fourth grade, I walked to school every day in my imaginary business suit, carrying my imaginary briefcase to a fabulous office job in the big city instead of chattering with all of the other kids on the sidewalk about the latest bands, fashions or playground drama.  Do you get the picture?  Yeah, I was THAT kid.  For a while, I was also THAT adult.  Over time, though, I began to realize that I spent so much time looking for the “right” path, the “right” choice, the “right” time that I didn’t enjoy the things that were happening to me maintenant (right now).  

Coffee is all about today.  It’s a commodity, so the price changes on a daily basis.  Fresh-ground coffee is always better, and fresh-roasted is better yet.  (For the two, possibly three coffee roasters who might read this blog, yes, you actually need 24 hours to de-gas beans, so don’t drink coffee roasted today).  Coffee shops have daily specials.  The person with whom you grab that cup is probably a decision you made today, too.  Your conversation definitely is!  And that’s the “today” that I want to be better at, being with someone in the moment.  To be so confident in God’s provision and plan that I stop worrying about where my career is going, what my portfolio looks like, or if I have the right friends that I actually know my co-workers, give generously, and have friends.  I want to have – no, I want to take time to grab a cup with a friend and listen.  Aujord’hui.  Today.  What about you?

Deep Freeze

Once again, the weather is making the news in February. To be more specific, cold temps are the center of attention here in the United States. It would seem as though this would be easy money time in the coffee industry, right? People are cold, wind chills are up, a good cup of something hot is just what the doctor ordered… or not. Every February at our roasting company is a dead month, and all of our coffee shop customers tell us that their shops are empty, too. Even the coffee bar we run at church dies during the shortest month.

It made no logical sense to me, and bothered me a great deal at first.  But then I realized that it was extremely logical – from a certain perspective. Such as the air being so cold that it hurts your face (or the inside of your nose, or whichever cliché you prefer). When that happens, all of us stop going anywhere that isn’t completely necessary, and we only go to those places when they are really necessary, like when we have no food in the house. So we give up the pain…and the hot beverages that would take away that pain.

Don’t we do that in the rest of our lives, as well? I know I often do; I get hurt by a situation, a friend’s words, a perception I have of someone else’s behavior, and I avoid those people. If I feel badly enough, I avoid all people. Instead of talking about it, I stop talking at all. I freeze people out, freeze up, let the relationship grow cold. I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  You might even recognize it, or be able to admit that you have your own. And you might know someone else who has done that to you. You may know why, you may not. But you know that something has gone cold between you and someone you love. So you avoid them back. And the very thing that would make it better is the thing you do without. Just like coffee (or tea, or hot chocolate, or whatever you like to drink) in February. Don’t do it! I don’t want to anymore! I think I am going to try to grab a cup, brave the bitter cold, enjoy getting the feeling back in my toes…and my relationships. I hope you’ll join me!

Welcome to Grab A Cup

Let’s just get this out on the table…I don’t know everything.  My children, who are 14, 18 and 21 years old would be happy to back me up on this statement.  Hundreds of customers whom I have served in 25 years of retail probably have something to say about it as well, as would the college professors from my incomplete degree program.  Some might even go so far as to say that I don’t know anything.  But before you tune me out completely, let me share a few things I do know after over 40 years of life on planet Earth.

People want to be connected to each other, even if they won’t admit it to ANYONE.  Why else would we have country clubs, comic book conventions, sports bars, social media (in multiple flavors) and coffee shops?

People want to be significant.  Sometimes we want to be a star – you know, win the Super Bowl, the Nobel Peace Prize, an Oscar.  Sometimes we want to inspire someone else to succeed.  Sometimes we want simply to be missed when we’re gone.

People want to know they are where they belong.  If we didn’t, would divorce, birth parent searches, mid-life job changes or cross-country moves even exist? How about the teen and young adult years?  You might wonder how I define “belonging”.  I mean that all people are driven by a need to understand how they fit into the world in which they live, how they feel about and impact that world, and whether or not they should change that world around them.

God loves all people.  Before you start arguing the point with me in your head, I want you to notice that I didn’t say everyone loves God.  Nor did I say that God approves of everyone’s attitudes or actions.  God’s love does not depend on reciprocity, rather it creates it.  WE love because He first loves us.  His love forgives our sins, but does not ignore them.  There are still consequences we must face.

My own journey through these statements has taken me far longer than I would have liked.  I’ve only been able to accept that God loves me “just as I am” in the past 2 years.  Five percent of my entire time on this planet!!!  Until I grasped the love, though, I couldn’t find belonging, connection, or significance -   at least not for very long.  And yet, each time I belonged, each time I felt significant, each time I connected with another human being led me closer to that moment when I finally felt LOVED BY GOD.  Not the good things that I did, not the half-assed obedience to His laws that I managed to pull off, not the image of myself that I wore like armor.  ME.  That moment was complete and utter bliss.

My husband experienced a similar moment in his life.  We can’t (and won’t) go back to the way things were.  So we have spent the past four years in intensive ministry preparation in tandem with barista, coffee roasting and bookkeeping/management experience, (and helping our two older daughters start their college lives) because we believe that coffee shops are a universal bridge builder.  Isn’t it a cliché - strangers in a diner, cowboys around a campfire, romantic couples at a trattoria, Turks in the marketplace - all grab a cup, and talk.  We hope you’ll do the same.  Grab your favorite cup, put something delicious in it, and see how we connect with people, where we belong, that we are significant to others as they are significant to us, and try to find ways to show how much God loves people as we seek business and ministry opportunities this year and into the future!